Talking to myself.

"When a person talks to himself, it's schizophrenia; when a company talks to itself, it's marketing." - unknown ad hack

The last thing I remember, before i came out of a hypnotic trance, was an expansive white room with a shelf of awards. Marivic Gustilo, our Psych teacher, was guiding us through a visualisation exercise; apparently, if we'd done the first few parts right, we would see the future (or our wishful vision of it).

It would have been more useful if I had visualized a set of lotto numbers. Twelve years forward, I still don't have that expansive white office, and my shelves are sadly bereft of advertising awards.

Where I work, opinion is divided on awards. About two or three people think advertising awards are worth pursuing. The rest think that awards are stooooopid. To the uncharitable, these people would either be (a) bean counters who can't see how awards can put money in the bank accounts, or (b) creatives having a collective fit of sour grapes.

Group (a), I can't do anything about. Republicans, fanatics, and actors running for President I can live without, but are part of the air we breathe. Group (b)... sometimes, I get invited for a sleepover in their camp. Call me a reluctant awards hound - I'm all for winning an award to give my career a little more mileage, but I'd like to win one for work that was actually created to communicate to the target audience.

The way I see it, two kinds of work are being done these days. Work that tickles the client, and work that tickles the awards judges. Precious little talking is aimed at the target market, you know, the guys who actually buy the products?

These days, the target market has become the unwanted child in the marketing conversation. Any significant message that does get through to the target market happens to be more of a conversation overheard between the adman and the awards body.

Why the hell is it so hard to offer an honest, compelling sell in advertising these days?

It's not just in Singapore, I gather. This guy writes to my art director complaining about the American advertising industry's "constant fear of offending women, the ultra religious, dwarfs, gardeners, darf gardeners, heterosexuals, heterosexual dwarf gardeners, their cousins, their wives, the inbred, lawyers, inbred lawyers who litigate against dwarf gardeners, etc." I got news for you pal, your scared little shits of cowering clients had to learn it from someone. They probably learned it from this side of the pond.

You'll see it all here - smiling talents who look like they've OD'd on Prozac ("think positive!" you hear the clients whispering appreciatively); campaigns taken word-for-word from advertising briefs and tacked on with a tagline to make them look like ads; scared-shitless suits who write ironclad briefs with no breathing room for any actual consumer insights. The House of Horrors that is Asian advertising is one long ride with no end.

The antidote is out there, but the cure begins only when clients and agencies alike begin to take it seriously. It starts with getting a clue - the Cluetrain Manifesto, for one, a breathtakingly simple dissection of what today's consumers REALLY want to hear, but really, nobody cares what consumers today want, right?